The Family Service Bureau’s impact in 2021

In the Newark area and in need of a telehealth therapy session? Or in-person?

The hybrid treatment model of the Family Service Bureau (FSB) provides both kinds of services and helps maintain attendance and client engagement. This innovative approach has allowed FSB to serve almost 5,000 people through individual therapy sessions in 2021.

When you donate today at holidayfund.org, you help agencies like FSB provide one-on-one help to our neighbors in need. Would you consider helping them and 10 other agencies continue their critical work by generously today?

Learn more about the Family Service Bureau, a branch of the New Community Corporation, in this annual report.

One Reason a Group of Lawyers Plays Softball For New Jersey Kids

It’s a lot of softball to play – and money to pay – for one day.

In 2019, Barry Carter of NJ.com profiled – of all things – a group of rival law firms playing friendly softball games where the rules are slightly strange.

If a player strikes out, causes a double play, or gives up a home run, they pay $125. If they give up a grand slam, the price is $500.

And when eight law firms and lawyers from Prudential play this game for six hours, they can net anywhere from $70,000 to $100,000.

Where does this money go, you ask? 

It goes to sending city kids from the Greater Newark area to camp through the Fresh Air Fund.

How the Giving Tradition Began

For over 30 years, lawyers in New Jersey have organized the annual Battle of the Barristers Charity Softball Tournament.

The tradition began with two law firms, Gibbons and the then-Robinson, Wayne, and Greenberg, who played a friendly match simply for bragging rights. 

The losers would treat the winners to drinks after each game until they realized, what if we paid it forward instead?

Enter the Fresh Air Fund, an initiative of the Newark Day Center. Michael Griffinger, 83, senior director with Gibbons, recalls the days when only lawyers played, and the umpires were federal judges.

“None of the lawyers would fight with the judges, because they would have to see them in court the next day,” he laughed.

Today, the tournament has grown to encompass employees from other departments, a variety of other firms, and even Prudential. 

Hundreds of Kids Sent to Camp

Every summer, some 200 to 400 kids benefit from the great outdoors due to the funds raised by the Battle of the Barristers. 

That’s a lot of kids, and a lot of time well spent.

Newark Day Center is just ONE of the ELEVEN charities that the Greater Newark Holiday Fund supports. No matter where you come from, we are grateful for your contribution. And when you partner with the Holiday Fund, your gift is funneled across all 11 charities.

Head to our giving page and show your support today. Talk with your coworkers, friends, and family members about pitching in. Every amount sends a message of support.

How to Support a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder

If someone you love is living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it can be difficult to know how to best support them. However, there are many things you can do to help your loved one get the care they need and lead a happy, healthy life.

Below are some proven ways to support loved ones who are living with BPD.

How to Support a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder

1. Learn as much as you can about BPD. 

The more you know about BPD, the better equipped you will be to support your loved one. There are many great books and websites about BPD, so do your research and educate yourself on the disorder.

We recommend Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, which has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from borderline personality disorder understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. 

2. Be patient and understanding. 

People with BPD often have a hard time regulating their emotions, and can be very sensitive to criticism. Be patient with your loved one and try not to take their outbursts personally.

3. Offer support but don’t smother them. 

People with BPD need supportive relationships, but too much support can actually be harmful. Try to strike a balance between providing support and giving your loved one some space.

4. Encourage them to seek treatment. 

Many people with BPD benefit from therapy and medication. Encourage your loved one to seek out treatment and stick with it even if they find it difficult at first.

Need help? contact one of our partner agencies, like Nutley Family Services.

5. Spend time with them. 

People with BPD often feel isolated and alone, so spending time with them is crucial. Whether you go out for coffee or watch a movie together, just being there for them will help them feel supported.

Do you love someone who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder? You can help to reduce the isolation they might be feeling by simply spending time with them. Your presence communicates support. Click To Tweet

SUPPORT FOR BPD MEANS GETTING EQUIPPED

As the Stop Walking on Eggshells authors, say:

“It can be very confusing when your loved one acts so self-assured in one situation and then falls apart for seemingly no reason in another. This situational competence is a hallmark of BPD.”

By following these tips and resourcing yourself with the compassionate guide, picking up the compassionate guide, Stop Walking on Eggshells, you will be enabled to:

  • Make sense out of the chaos
  • Stand up for yourself and assert your needs
  • Defuse arguments and conflicts
  • Protect yourself and others from violent behavior 

If you’re ready to bring peace and stability back into your life, this time-tested guide will show you how, one confident step at a time. 

Knowledge is power—if you want to gain access to more recommended books, simply download our free ebook right now.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need.

3 Good Reasons to Read Books on Mental Illness

In addition to supporting your loved ones or gaining insight into your own struggles, reading books on mental illness has many benefits. We’re sharing a few here. 

3 Good Reasons to Read Books on Mental Illness

1. Mental Illness is common and we should be educated.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately one in five Americans suffers from a mental illness in any given year. And that number is only going up – in 2013, mental health disorders were the leading cause of disability in the US.

2. Mental illnesses are often debilitating and we need to have compassion. 

One of the main reasons that mental illness is debilitating is because it can often lead to other health problems. For example, people with mental illness are more likely to have a physical health problem. This is because when you are stressed out or anxious all the time, it can take a toll on your body. Additionally, people with mental illness are less likely to receive medical care. This is often due to the fact that they do not have insurance, or they do not want to face the stigma attached to mental illness.

Also, mental illness can also lead to alcohol or drug abuse. This is because people with mental illness often turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to self-medicate if they aren’t being monitored by a doctor or keeping up with their medication regime. 

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like Children’s Aid & Family Services.

3. Mental illnesses can be treated and we need to be aware of available resources.

Many mental illnesses can be effectively treated with medication, therapy, or a combination of both.

Thankfully, as society becomes more open to discussing mental health, more people feel comfortable seeking help. Additionally, new treatments for mental illness are becoming available all the time, which is helping to reduce the stigma attached to mental illness.

Want to better understand someone in your life who lives with anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness? Gain insight and understanding by reading books on the subject. Click To Tweet

A RESOURCE TO BETTER UNDERSTAND DEPRESSION

To help a loved one who is depressed, we recommend What to Do When Someone You Love Is Depressed, Second Edition: A Practical, Compassionate, and Helpful Guide. This book offers guidance to the friends and family of a depressed person on how to keep one’s own spirits up and at the same time do what is best to help a loved one get through a difficult time. 

Don’t want to stop here? Get more book recommendations on mental illness when you download our free ebook today.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need. 

5 Stages In The Cycle Of Mental Illness

Mental illness can be a challenging thing to deal with, both for the person who is living with it and for their loved ones. One of the most difficult things about mental illness is that it often doesn’t follow a logical pattern – it can be up one day and down the next, or it can be relatively stable for months or even years at a time. This unpredictability can make it difficult for people to understand mental illness, and it can also make it difficult for people to get help.

5 STAGES IN THE CYCLE OF MENTAL ILLNESS

One of the best ways to understand mental illness is to learn about the different stages that people go through when they are living with it. This way, you will be able to better understand what your loved one is going through and you will be better equipped to help them.

The cycle of mental illness usually goes like this:

1. Symptoms

The person experiences symptoms of the mental illness.

2. Impact

These symptoms cause problems in the person’s life, which may lead to them seeking help.

3. Treatment

The person receives treatment for their mental illness and starts to feel better.

4. Stable Period

The person’s mental health stays stable for a while, but eventually the symptoms start to come back.

5. Repeat

The person goes through the same process again – they experience symptoms, they have trouble dealing with them, they seek help, they get treatment, and so on.

To better understand mental illness, learn the different stages that people go through when they are living with it. As a result, you will also be better equipped to help them. Click To Tweet

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like Family Service Bureau of Newark.

This cycle can be frustrating and demoralizing for both the person who is living with mental illness and their loved ones. Does this sound familiar to you?

However, it is important to remember that there is always hope. There are many treatments available for mental illness, and with time and patience most people can find relief from their symptoms.

BOOK TO UNDERSTAND CYCLES OF MENTAL ILLNESS

In It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, the author says:

“The traumas we inherit or experience first-hand can not only create a legacy of distress, but also forge a legacy of strength and resilience that can be felt for generations to come.”

The book presents a transformative approach to resolving long standing difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have been unable to touch.

When you access available resources and gain understanding of the cycles of mental illness, you’re better equipped to help yourself or those you love to live healthily with mental illness. 

Discover Amazon’s most popular books on mental illness when you download our free ebook today.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need. 

5 Tips for Raising a Teenager Struggling with Mental Illness

Mental illness is a growing problem in the United States, with one in five people suffering from a mental health disorder at some point in their lives. For teenagers, the statistics are even more alarming, as one in four suffers from a mental illness. 

The good news is that early diagnosis and treatment can make a big difference in the long term outcome for these young people. So how do you go about raising a teenager with mental illness? 

5 Tips for Raising a Teenager Struggling with Mental Illness

1. Create a support network. 

Make sure you have a support network of family and friends who can help you care for your teenager.

2. Get professional help. 

Make sure your teenager is seeing a therapist or psychiatrist who can help them get on track with treatment.

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like Family Service League.

3. Encourage treatment. 

Make sure your teenager is taking their medication and attending all therapy appointments.

4. Be positive. 

Try to keep your expectations for your teenager positive, even when they are struggling.

5. Be patient. 

Raising a teenager with mental illness can be challenging, but your patience and care will demonstrate a high level of love and care. Be patient and never give up on them.

In the US, 1 in 4 teens suffer from mental illness. The good news is that early diagnosis and treatment can make a big difference in the long term outcome for these young people. Seek help today.  Click To Tweet

A RESOURCE TO HELP YOU RAISE TEENS 

In his book, The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults, renowned neurologist Dr. Frances E. Jensen offers a revolutionary look at the brains of teenagers, dispelling myths and offering practical advice for teens, parents and teachers.

This book will provide insight into the teenage mind whether or not they have been diagnosed with a mental illness. 

The science is presented by Dr. Jensen in the contexts of daily learning and multitasking, stress and memory, sleep, addiction, and decision-making. He compiles the knowledge we have about the function, wiring, and capacity of the adolescent brain. These discoveries also produce helpful recommendations that will aid adults and teenagers in navigating the perplexing world of adolescent development in this ground-breaking yet approachable book.

Consider this book of you’re raising teens—whether or not they’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness. It’s been called a “must-read” for parents, teachers, school nurses, and many others who live with or interact with teens.

Gain access to even more book recommendations on mental health when you download our free ebook today.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need.

6 Steps On the Road to Healing After Emotional Abuse

It’s hard to overstate the devastating effects of emotional abuse. This type of abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, and it can leave lasting scars that are difficult to heal.

If you have been the victim of emotional abuse, don’t despair. There is hope for healing. Here are some tips that can help you on your road to recovery.

6 Steps On the Road to Healing After Emotional Abuse

1. Get professional help. 

This is essential if you want to heal from emotional abuse. A therapist can help you address the underlying issues that led to the abuse and work through the pain and trauma that you have experienced.

2. Build a support system. 

It’s important to have people who you can rely on for support during your healing process. These can be family members, friends, or a support group for survivors of emotional abuse.

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like FAMILYConnections.

3. Deal with your emotions. 

One of the biggest challenges in healing from emotional abuse is dealing with the intense emotions that are associated with it. You need to allow yourself to feel all of the anger, sadness, hurt, and fear that you have been suppressing. Only then will you be able to start moving on.

4. Be patient with yourself. 

Healing from emotional abuse takes time and patience. Don’t expect to heal overnight – it will likely take months or even years for you to fully recover. Be kind and forgiving towards yourself throughout this process.

Healing from emotional abuse takes time and patience. Don't expect to heal overnight. Be kind and forgiving towards yourself throughout this process. Click To Tweet

5. Take care of yourself physically.

One way to promote healing after emotional abuse is to take care of yourself physically . Make sure you get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and exercise regularly. These things will help your body and mind heal from the trauma of the abuse.

6. Get equipped with resources.

By equipping yourself with helpful resources, you’ll gain knowledge and insight about how to get (and stay) on the road to recovery. 

Have you read Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse? It offers hope and multiple strategies to anyone who has survived a toxic relationship, as well as anyone suffering the effects of a breakup involving lying, cheating and other forms of abuse—to release old wounds and safely let the love back inside where it belongs.

Through a practice of mindfulness, introspection, and exercises using specific tools, readers learn to identify the protective self they’ve developed—and uncover the core self. This way, they can finally move on to live a full and authentic life—to once again feel light, free, and whole, and ready to love again.

Let us know if you pick up this book. Leave a comment and share how it impacted your life. 

Knowledge is power—if you want to gain access to more recommended books, simply download our free ebook right now.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need.

A Guide to Encourage Healing from Self-Destruction

Self-destructive behavior can be incredibly hard to break free from. It can feel like a trap, like you’re stuck in a cycle that you can’t escape. But you can break free. 

When you or someone you care about is engaging in self-destructive behavior, use this list to encourage healing. 

5 Practical Ways to Encourage Healing From Self-Destruction

1. Recognize the signs.

If you know what to look for, you can catch self-destructive behavior before it gets too out of control. Watch out for things like excessive drinking, drug use, eating disorders, and self-harm. If you see any of these signs, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.

2. Seek professional help.

There’s no shame in seeking professional help when it comes to breaking free from self-destructive behavior. In fact, it’s often the best thing you can do for yourself. Therapists and counselors are specifically trained to help people overcome these kinds of challenges.

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like Jewish Family Service of MetroWest New Jersey.

3. Build a support network.

Surround yourself with people who care about you and will support your efforts to break free from self-destructive behavior. These people can be your emotional support system when things get tough, and they can help keep you on track in your journey to recovery.

4. Be Patient.

It takes time and effort to break free from self-destructive behavior. Don’t expect to change overnight. Be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time. You’ll get there eventually!

5. Learn more about self-destructive behavior. 

In Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals exactly why our bad habits die so hard. 

Using new research and knowledge about how the brain works, the book clears a path to lasting, effective change for behaviors that include:

  • Procrastination
  • Overeating
  • Chronic disorganization
  • Staying in bad situations
  • Excessive worrying
  • Risk-taking
  • Passive aggression
  • Self-medication

By learning valuable skills and habits—including mindfulness, self-control, confronting fear, and freeing yourself from mindless guilt—we can open ourselves to vastly more successful, productive, and happy lives.

Struggling with self-destructive behaviors? Learning mindfulness, self-control, confronting fear, and freeing yourself from mindless guilt can open you up to vastly more successful, productive, and happy lives. Click To Tweet

By following these steps to healing and getting equipped with understanding, we hope that behaviors will be changed and lives will be improved. 

Get access to more recommended books when you download our free ebook today.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need.

How to Recognize Signs of Psychological Abuse

It can be difficult to know when you are being psychologically abused. 

The signs are often subtle and easy to overlook. In fact, many people don’t even realize they are being abused until it’s too late. Likewise, it can be hard to detect the signs in someone else’s life. 

If you think you or someone you love may be in an abusive relationship, it is important to know what to look for. The following lists four red flags that can indicate psychological abuse is happening.

Please get educated on signs of psychological abuse, like verbal insults, isolation, and constant criticism.  Click To Tweet

How to Recognize Signs of Psychological Abuse

1. Verbal abuse

Verbal abuse is a key sign of psychological abuse. If your partner is constantly insulting you, putting you down, or making you feel inferior, this is a major red flag.

2. Isolation

Isolation is another key sign of psychological abuse. If your partner is trying to isolate you from your friends and family, or is preventing you from participating in activities you enjoy, this is a major warning sign.

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like The Urban League of Essex County.

3. Constant criticism

Constant criticism can also be a sign of psychological abuse. If your partner is constantly finding fault with everything you do, and never seems to be happy with anything you do, this can be a sign of an abusive relationship.

4. Threats

Threats and intimidation are also common signs of psychological abuse. If your partner is threatening to hurt you, or intimidate you in any way, this should be a major red flag.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE SIGNS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE

Want to learn about recovery from psychological abuse? In Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse, author Shannon Thomas, LCSW, offers words of wisdom and hope and “spot-on” steps to healing. 

Consider grabbing a copy for yourself and be encouraged by the applicable recovery stages that are shared. 

Wonder what other resources the professionals recommend on understanding mental illness? Get a list of the 10 most popular books on mental illness when you download our free ebook.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need.

3 Reasons to Read Books on Mental Illness

We all know that knowledge is power. And if you or someone you love is living with a mental illness, you know that understanding and compassion are also powerful. 

When you read books about mental illness, you are equipping yourself with information and helpful tips to both understand and support those in your life who are living with anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness. 

SUPPORT OTHERS BY READING BOOKS ON MENTAL ILLNESS

People living with mental illness need support because they are:

  • More likely to have a physical health problem
  • Less likely to receive medical care
  • More likely to struggle with addiction
  • At risk for housing insecurity or incarceration

In this article, we’re exploring the reasons we should read books on mental health and mental illness, and highlighting a recommended book. 

3 Reasons to Read Books on Mental Illness

People often shy away from topics like mental illness, feeling that they do not know enough to speak about them. However, books are a great way to learn about these conditions and how to best support those who suffer from them.

Today we are recommending The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. In it, the author states:

“For real change to take place, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and to live in the reality of the present.”

This #1 New York Times bestseller has been described as “essential reading for anyone interested in understanding and treating traumatic stress and the scope of its impact on society.” (Alexander McFarlane, Director of the Center for Traumatic Stress Studies)

Here are 3 reasons to read this or other books on mental illness.

1. To learn from another’s experience.

Mental illness can be incredibly isolating for the people who experience it. By reading books about mental illness, you can learn more about what the person is going through and how to offer them support. You can also find books that focus on specific mental illnesses, such as depression or bipolar disorder. This can be helpful in understanding how to deal with a loved one who is struggling with a mental illness.

Mental illness can be incredibly isolating for the people who experience it. By reading books about mental illness, you can learn more about what the person is going through and how to offer them support. Click To Tweet

2. To become more aware of your own mental health. 

Reading books about mental illness can also help you to become more aware of your own mental health. It can be helpful to read about different conditions and how they are treated, in order to better understand your own mind. If you ever experience any symptoms of mental illness, you will be better equipped to seek help and treatment.

Need mental health support? For professional, confidential assistance, contact one of our partner agencies, like Catholic Charities of Newark.

3. Knowledge is a powerful tool.

Ultimately, reading books about mental illness is a great way to learn more about this important topic. By increasing our knowledge and understanding of mental illness, we can work together to break down the stigmas associated with them.

Gain access to even more book recommendations on mental health when you download our free ebook today.

By reading this book and others about mental illness, you can better understand and support the people in your life who are dealing with mental illness and its symptoms.

Will you consider donating to the Greater Newark Holiday Fund? Your support helps our agency partners provide hope and healing to individuals and families during the season of greatest need. 

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